I’ve been frustrated with myself that I haven’t been blogging as much as I want to be. The slow-down is partially due to the fact that I’m in a sort of reading/thinking/researching detox. (Okay, I ‘cheated’ this evening and read all of Rachel Held Evan‘s posts on her womanhood project.) I realized recently that my desire to learn is kind of consuming my life. This reality came into focus as I related to a friend who described her thought life as overwhelming. It became more clear as I packed up my belongings and I saw how many boxes of books I own – and how many I hadn’t started or finished. But what made it crystal clear to me was when I began to reflect on my emotional intelligence.

Emotional intelligence is a concept I was introduced to in the context of the co-curricular dimension of higher education. EI is an essential component of my growth as a facilitator. I have to be in tune with what is going on in group settings – where each individual is at as well as where the group is as a whole. But I also have to be in tune with where I am at emotionally to recognize how that will affect the group.

Various definitions:
Emotional intelligence: “the ability to perceive, control and evaluate emotions”
Emotional intelligence: “an ability, skill or, in the case of the trait EI model, a self-perceived ability to identify, assess, and control the emotions of oneself, of others, and of groups”
Emotional intelligence: “the innate potential to feel, use, communicate, recognize, remember, describe, identify, learn from, manage, understand and explain emotions”

I googled "emotional intelligence" and found this insightful model. =)


Needless to say, as I reflected, I didn’t fare well. This is definitely something I need to work on in my life. Hence, the detox. I’ve realized that my ferver to pursue learning is blocking the ability of other parts of myself to grow. I busy myself in exploring new ideas and forget about exploring myself as a human.

I’ll be continuing the detox for a few more weeks but I also want to add proactive means of exploring myself and my emotional responses. I’m starting with incorporating contemplative/centering prayer into my face-to-Face time, and my goal is to start counseling by the end of the summer.

So that’s that. I’m realizing how much of my life is still driven by fear – of stillness, of what I don’t know, of traveling to the deep. But as a friend reminded me during Life Group, Jesus travels to the deep with me.